In this Time of Uncertainty, I’m Committing

The sun is red and the sky is yellow grey. People in Portland Oregon are wearing gas masks (and not as a fashion statement). Lives around the world were upturned from the ‘Rona virus, Portland then stood its ground against the feds during the BLM protests which I live within a half mile of and actively participated in. Now half the state is on fire and I’m on the edge of my seat waiting for either the elections or the economy crash, whichever comes first.

Despite the city appearing to be straight out of an apocalypse video game, I’ve found myself in a firm-set determination. Things need to change and I now know that the universe isn’t going to let me lie in wait.

It started with A panic attack that sent me to the emergency room for my depression and anxiety buying a new notebook. Writers know this feeling well. You can’t possibly start a new project in a notebook that’s already been defiled) But this one was special. On it is a quote that embodies who I want to be and what I want to do.

@thegayjasperjay on insta

I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.

When I found this notebook there was another book for sale beside it. The 100-Day Goal: Accomplish what matters to you. The foundation for this book is that each page is a daily check-in to make sure you are working towards your goal along with 10-day mini goals for you to celebrate.

Well if you were here a year ago you may remember my move to Japan to become a full time writer. And if you were paying attention you now know that I am in Portland Oregon. So what gives? Did I fail?

Yes, because failure is part of the process.

So let’s talk about what I’m doing differently this time. I have a few things going for me .

1) I have a job that supports me and my lifestyle, including spending time researching social media, creating content, and honing skills that I’d like to continue using for future jobs.

2) I can consult Einstein (my therapist) and discuss my roadblocks. He also tells me to give me to ‘Go easy on yourself when the worlds on fire’ (Whoops sorry I haven’t gotten there yet).

3) I’m medicated. I want to be real with y’all and honestly just taking this one anxiety med has been amazing for my mental health. It’s opened the door for me to process a lot of the trauma from my abusive Ex and bazar upbringing.

4) I have a super supportive and helpful boyfriend, whom I live with, and bestfriend, who lives down the road.

So here’s what I’m preposing.

I’m going to share my journey towards my 100-day goal here, for accountability reasons. Think of it as good old fashioned blogging where I’m just sharing my story with you. If you’d like to join me (at any point in time) then I welcome you. Congratulations on your budding energy around your project. Please comment “I’m committing.” and if you know what you’re committing to then tell me. You can also put “I’m interested in what you’re doing and tentatively agreeing to work a little harder at my goals for the next 100 days.”

Even if you’re just lurking, thank you for being here. Please continue on to learn exactly what my 100 day goal is and what my plan is.

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