What is the purpose of a novel? If most amazon self published listings only sell 100 copies in their lifetime then what was the point of the thousands of hours that were put into it? Well I think there is an answer as well as an argument.
The reason why these books don’t sell very well, is it because they are bad? Are the characters and plots unforgivably flawed? Is the word choice so distasteful or the grammar so indistinguishable that no one will finish the first page? Or is it simply that we live in the age of Karens who think their life story is the most amazing thing to bless the americas in this century?
Or maybe it’s simply that the writer wrote, and they did not promote.
Whatever the case may be I still think there is a lot of value in writing a novel. As you may know I’ve been editing my novel for some time now, we’re probably over five years at this point, all the while I’ve written other books and worked other jobs and lived a fulfilling life. What I’ve noticed, though, is that the original writing has a distinctly different voice than the things that have been edited so thoroughly.
When I had first started it, I was writing a character with similar thoughts and opinions to my own, someone who was working through the same issues as I. And I lived vicariously through them.
So I’m grateful to myself for every novel I’ve written as each one is a time capsule showcasing me overcoming my struggles. Hopefully others can relate.
Over the last 10 days I have been looking at myself and what value I give to others. I love self help books and never actually doing the work, but I found this to be a very satisfying week of tasks dedicated to uncovering my mind.
Of the lessons I learned it’s hard to share anything other that what I posted above, as everything is very personal to me and likely wouldn’t be relevant to most. But seeing as most people don’t actually read my blog I’ll write a summary anyway.
On day two I’d totally lost my steam by realizing I already did social media at my paid job and was unsatisfied. The things I looked forward too weren’t the things I prescribe myself to do everyday. That made day three difficult as I focused it on trying to understand what was so stressful and what I didn’t want to do anymore.
So on day four I realined myself with my passions as much as I could, though I still need to create a system to reinstate those passions so that life flows a bit easier for me. I spent day five changing gears to how I could provide value for others as that is one of my passions. Day six devolved into grounding myself into habits and trauma, really resetting the foundation of my work to come. This is something is is still ongoing and is possibly the most important thing I’ll get out of 2020.
I didn’t actually accomplish much on day six but I accomplished none of my goals on day seven. This was a sunday mind you and I certainly needed to relax after pushing myself on so many different fronts. Because I didn’t allocate any time for self care I ended up distracted and unhappy monday morning. I started to pull myself out of my weekend slump by mapping out two weeks of content but would later learn that because I wasn’t working from my passions, I wrote myself the same plan I’d failed at time and time again.
Day eight was arguably the day with the most flow. I accidentally accomplished my goals as opposed to my usual constant checking of my notebook. Finding an aesthetic I wanted to work with helped me to define my goals and values along side my aim and how I wanted others to feel when the ran across my content. It sparked an excellent idea.
Day nine was for self care as I could feel myself burning out.
And then we come to day ten rather underwhelming I spent most of my time thinking of what I’d spend the next 10 days doing. I also wrapped up some projects and tasks I’d let slip earlier in the week.
Over all the biggest take away was that if I even acted from a place of being ingenuine then I was destined to fail, if not then, then it would manifest in what I’d planned for the future. It can be incredibly difficult to be open and honest, not only online where you can be ridiculed and judged but open to yourself and the demons that tear you down from the inside.
It is my intention to move through these next 10 days very aware of my thoughts, desires and actions to see how I can be kinder to myself while still achieving my goals of creating valuable content for those around me.